Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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