i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
