TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
