Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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