Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
