I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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