We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
