So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
It's never too late to be topless.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
