Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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