I think I died a long time ago.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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