you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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