I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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