Where are you?
In a non slutty way
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
