The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
