He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
