i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
