Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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