I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
My vagina just clenched in fear
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
