We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
how drunk are you?
Several
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
