Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
