Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
