So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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