apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
So vagazzling was a success
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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