so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
