Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize
