What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I think I have vodka in my lungs
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
