It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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