I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I think I sprained my soul last night
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
