Well apparently he's into motor boating.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
