He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
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