All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
