Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Found the puke drawer
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
