he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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