And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
