I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
