He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
