dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Randomize
