Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
