he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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