to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
50% drunk capacity currently
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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