I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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