so that wasnt chicken after all
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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