my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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