I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
