what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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