She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
