Tell her she can't have a vagina
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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