when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
