Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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