i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
